The Wiccan-Shaman-Druid Song

I'm a Wiccan-Shaman-Druid,
I am new age through and through.
Decked in crystals from my head to toe,
With feathers and pyramids, too.
My spirit-guide is from Atlantis.
He's a Zen-Aztec guru.
Come and spend the weekend with us,
For two thousand dollars
You'll be a Wiccan-Shaman too.

I'm an Elvis-Loki-Viking.
I channel Ashley Montague.
In a former life I was a gypsy clerk,
Bull fighter, and troubadour, too.
I know five Illuminati,
They're a strange and motley crew.
There's a priest from ancient China,
He lives in my basement.
He is an Elvis-Viking too.

My coven is part Rosicrucian,
Mixed with some Theosophy.
Add in some stuff from the Golden Dawn,
‘Cause Crowley’s just all right with me.
I've got twelve initiations,
I've seen all there is too see.
And watch out for those strange Co-Mason-Santaria-Druids,
They'll cement your chickens to a tree.

I've got a pipe ceremony,
Adapted from the O.T.O.
I use a sweatlodge for my Beltane rites,
The Maypole is just there for show.
I have got a glass athame,
With batteries to make it glow.
It's just great for calling quarters
In my new tradition:
The Lynn Andrews-Buckland-Starhawk Grove.

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