How Do I Tell My Parents?: By Silver Ravenwolf

Teen Witches are more prevalent than you might suppose. Groups of two and three fifteen to eighteen-year-old witches meet all over the country, trying desperately to find their own religious path in an unfamiliar world. These brave young adults seek to know their destinies, learn how to enhance their lives, and raise their spiritual consciousness.

Some of these teen Witches, however, have a handicap — the spiritual mindset of the adults around them. If the environment encircling the teen becomes barren or stagnated, his or her spiritual growth wanes. Some teens truly follow the old ways, practicing in secret for several years, until they reach adulthood and can move to an environment suitable to practice their belief system.

Serious teen Witches of non-Craft parents know that if they try to assert their independence by changing the package they display to their parents, life will be harder, not easier.

Adult Witches rarely give credit to our youthful counterparts. We have an excuse, you see — our rule not to train non-Craft children until they are twenty-one. Although we have a good reason for the rule, this dictate does not assist the aspiring Witch. How do those resourceful young ones find their spirituality? Mostly by reading. How do I know the answer to this question? By the hundreds of letters I receive from teens who are seeking the Craft of the Wise.

The most asked question is, "How do I tell my parents I am a Witch?" It isn't only teens who ask this question. Many individuals in their twenties have written me with the same tone of despair on the issue. This query is a tough one, full of ramifications. Each situations is different, and there is no single appropriate answer to be tossed into the mind of the teen or young adult. However, here are some ideas, should you be facing the monumental decision of "breaking the news" to your parents.

Do not do a one-eighty on your parents

You will give them heart failure if you have been Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm for fifteen (or fifty) years, and suddenly turn into a psedu-vampire complete with leather collar and pointy spikes. Real witches don't dress like that anyway (we hope). Be creative, but don't be off the wall. Forget the hair color that changes your natural blond tresses to the fine sheen of a raven's wing. Let the fingernail polish that makes your fingers look as if you've dipped them in graveyard dirt alone. Radical changes in behavior or dress signal the parent that you are in over your head, and are barreling straight into serious, mental trouble.

Act with honor and integrity at all times

If your behavior reflects good values and principals, then your parents won't rush off to the Ritalin cabinet. Being a teen is difficult as it is. Don't make fun of your peers, for any reason. Be honest in money dealings. Be kind to those who are less fortunate than you. Don't run with the pack that think that they are better than the rest. Don't allow your mood swings to get out of hand. Learn to control your environment without hatred or weapons; you are not as helpless as you may think. Seek individuals who can bring harmony into your life, rather than those who bring chaos. Investigate several religions and talk to the parent who is most open on the concepts of life about these various belief systems. Have family discussions, telling your parents what you have read, and ask them why they do or do not support this or that religion or belief system. Don't get into an argument, but be firm on your personal beliefs.

Take your time

If today you are Baptist and tomorrow you are Craft, look for terror in the eyes of your parents. It just isn't fair to do that to them. Leave various articles about the Goddess hanging around the house. Look for material that is historically and archaeologically correct. Find reading material that is inspirational and non-threatening, and share this information with your parents. Turn on the Learning Channel where features include investigation of matri-focal religions and various religious aspects of different cultures. Parents have the capability of learning. This mode of behavior does not shut down when they turn thirty. There is still hope. Your parents can learn as much from you as you can from them. Think about it. Are you a kind and gentle teacher?

Walk softly and carry a big stick

Walk softly means don't rock the proverbial boat. Try to be harmonious in all you do. Your "big stick" is the magick you are learning to do. Work for joy, harmony, and positive influences in your life.

Don't expect your life to change overnight

Magick for various ends can be like a beautiful silver or gold chain — forge one line at a time, until the matter comes full circle. Some magicks take only a few days, others, weeks or even months. A few magicks will take years. Accept this, and keep your spirit always reaching for divinity.

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