Discriminating Friends

On more than one occasion teens (and adults) have written to me telling me that their “best” friend, boyfriend, or girlfriend has demanded that they give up their religion of Wicca. When someone (anyone) actively tries to take your chosen religion away from you, we know that the following is most likely true:

  1. This is a control issue,
  2. This is an issue of self-esteem (theirs, not yours), and
  3. The accuser has no desire to be educated, because if they did, they wouldn’t be bothering you about your religion at all.

Once we realize their behavior has everything to do with psychology and nothing to do with religious sanctity, it makes the whole situation easier to understand and overcome. If a friend or significant other leaves you because you won’t “convert”, then you should know in your heart that your relationship was based on what they wanted and needed, meaning that the original bond was probably extremely self-centered on their part, and that eventually a different issue would have arisen wherein their selfishness would have been exposed anyway. When people are unhappy, they tend to want to drag their friends down with them — don’t go there.

You also need to understand that as your spirituality grows you will naturally push away those people who carry negative energy and look for friends and companions that have a higher level of thinking and being, and have a healthier outlook on life. They won’t all be Wiccan, but they will be loving, accepting, courageous, and compassionate, to name just a few qualities. It’s not the religion that declares the person, it’s their behavior.

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